Rough Week

Last week was rough. It wasn't that rough, but compared to the last few months, it stunk. But, with everything that stunk, looking back I've been able to find some positives.

After crying all the makeup off, we watched the Office and House. :)

It all started Sunday night. I was scrolling through the Facebook before going to bed. I clicked on something by mistake, one of those silly articles about celebrities being bad kissers. I'd been to the particular website before, so I didn't freak out. Well, moments later, my browser freaked out alerting me  that my things were being frozen because I was looking at child pornography and downloading music illegally. I couldn't get it to close. I used my limited computer knowledge, and then, texted my co worker who is Mac savvy. 

He was too drunk to help me, so I finally texted my dad. I was so embarrassed and beating myself up. My entire life my dad has been teaching me about internet safety and all the ways to get a virus or spam or whatever the heck this was, and here I was with some. On a Mac. I went to bed upset, but he told me he'd help me in the morning.

Monday morning rolled around. I woke up with my first UTI. I felt awful and had a full day of school and work ahead of me. I squeezed a doctors appointment in the morning. They ran my first ever pregnancy test though, which was crazy. I didn't know that was normal so I was sitting there while they ran it thinking, ok, nine months from now is June, so I can do two more semesters, but then should I? I should probably work, and-

The test was negative so everything was alright. I felt like such a grown up though, like I've crossed some new threshold! Ha. After that the doctor told me about what I should watch out for and if I got any of those symptoms, to come back in right away. At one point she asked me if I felt nauseous and I informed her that hey, I have a lot of anxiety so I feel nauseous a lot so I didn't know what was anxiety and what was real. 

 It took too long to fill my prescription after that so my awesome mom drove me to school. I was a bit late and it was for a class where the professor scares me so I decided to forego her wrath. (She's really not that bad, I'll write more about this later.)

Then I had work, where I felt awful and just didn't want to be there and was informed that I now have to run two registers every day and count the drawers and such because of budget cuts. Add some odd encounters while Bridget was visiting me and I was just not a happy person. Then, I started experiencing some of the symptoms the doctor had warned me about and I just wanted to give up. And it was only Monday. I never knew a UTI could cause so many problems! 

I remember thinking, well if this gets worse at least I'll get out of work for a bit. That night around one, I had a nasty panic attack. It was my first one in the apartment and I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what was anxiety and what was me actually being sick. In that moment I desperately wanted a priesthood blessing, but Sammy isn't able to give those yet and it was the middle of the night. I remembered the story a woman told in Relief Society about how her husband traveled a lot when they got married and once when he was gone, she felt an evil spirit in her house in the middle of the night. She prayed saying that she knew her husband held the priesthood and even though he wasn't physically there, this was his home and that power was there and she was able to tell the spirit to go away. I said a similar prayer, and got through the panic attack in about half an hour though and was able to get back to sleep and be well rested in the morning. All of those other things I was feeling went away as well.

On Wednesday I learned how ridiculously childish and mean some people in this world can be. I was instantly filled with anger and hate and it carried with me the rest of the day. I felt sick to my stomach and just distant from everything because of those feelings. It wasn't until ten that night when Sammy told me to pray that I was finally able to shake that off and feel some peace. Carrying that anger all day really wore on me. 

 Then Friday I woke up to neck pain like I haven't felt in a long time. I couldn't wash my hair, comb it, get a shirt on properly, or move very much. So then I was running late to work, so Sammy kindly drove me. Work was awful once again. I kept trying to stretch my neck out and try to get some relief but every time I moved a bit I got a wave of dizziness. Once again my sweet mommy came and got me. I remarked that she drives me around more now than when I lived with her. It was good seeing her though and I was so grateful to not walk to the bus. After the Advil kicked in, we stopped by the mall real quick and she stopped by my apartment. My neck loosened up a bit and I was able to move more. Enough so that I felt well enough to go to the Jones that night for the last video game night and say goodbye. Saying goodbye to the Jones's was not fun. I'm really going to miss them! 

Their sweet puppy fell asleep on me. 

It was a bit of a rough week, but there were also great moments. I'm excited to start a new week though!