Crazy Socks & Writer's Block

A few months ago we were challenged by the prophet to go on a social media fast for ten days. When I'd tried to do one earlier in the year, I hadn't been able to do it and became extremely anxious. This time I decided to do one the week before Christmas. I noticed that I was getting angry all of the time and was missing out on some of the cute things Aaron did. I was tired of getting unsolicited advice and opinions on everything, so I decided to take a break, hoping that I wouldn't get super anxious again.  I was instantly so much happier. I wasn't comparing my life to everyone else's. I wasn't looking at all of the pictures of other babies and comparing Aaron to them, wondering if he was behind on milestones, or feeling smug that he was ahead on others. I didn't search for all of those likes and feel disappointed when I didn't get as many as the last picture. And I didn't have everyone's voices in my head all day long. I'd noticed that ...

I know that he's a little young for his first words, and that it might just be wish fulfillment, but both Sammy and I heard Aaron say mama in the middle of his gurgling multiple times.  The fact that Sammy heard it too makes me think I'm not crazy and that he actually did say it. So I'm going to count this boy's first word as mama.  I absolutely love how much he loves me. I never knew that having a little human's love could mean so much, but it really does:)

From the day Aaron was born I was dreading the day I had to go back to work. I didn't want to leave him, and I didn't want to go back to that hellhole. But the day came and I had to go back for a few days. At first I planned to go back for two weeks, then four days until the new year. Leaving him that first morning was so hard. I was in such a rush to get out of the door on time and forgot so many things, even though I'd packed the night before.  I thought I'd cry the whole drive to work but I didn't. I missed Aaron like crazy all day and time went by so slowly. Aaron had fun at grandma's house though.  On my way home Sammy called me on speaker phone and let me talk to Aaron. He said that he started smiling super wide once he heard my voice.  I was so exhausted when I got home that I could barely hold him, then went straight to bed. On the second day I took Aaron to Sammy's parents. He was a bit fussier there and wouldn't eat or sleep consis...

Our first Christmas as a family was absolutely wonderful. It started on the 22nd. We just laid in bed as a family and played together. Aaron gave us this face. Then he discovered his daddy's face.  We went on a lovely lunch date to Torchy's tacos. Aaron was asleep the whole time, so it felt like it was just the two of us. I tried the Preacher which had al pastor and pineapple, it was SO good!   We spent the afternoon snuggling, playing, and watching Madam Secretary.  On Sunday we had our traditional Christmas meal- pan fried steak, potatoes, and apple cider. I've been excited to cook this for awhile. It was much easier in our new apartment in that Sammy didn't have to stand next to the fire alarm the entire time we cooked the steak. It was hard because we had to tag team taking care of Aaron and cooking the meal the whole time. When we finally finished cooking Aaron decided that he was hungry so we took turns eating and feeding him as well. The steak...

Our first real date after having Aaron was to see Fantastic Beasts in the theater. While we'd gone on a mall date before that, that was still in the thick of my PPA and I hadn't truly bonded with Aaron yet so it wasn't as hard to leave. This time, I missed my little baby before I'd even left him with his grandparents. Somehow we were able to leave though and headed towards the movies. It was so weird to drive without the carseat in the car, to leave without picking it up, to go to the bathroom to myself, and just walk wherever I wanted to. The last time I was at the movie theater I was super pregnant and could barely make my way to my seat and had to calculate the best times to pee. This time I was free! I saw a poster with two of my favorite dudes on it-- Lin Manuel Miranda and Colin Firth. (I haven't seen Mary Poppins yet, but I'm so worried that Colin Firth is a bad guy.)   We cuddled and watched the movie. There were so many bad reviews for it but w...