Crazy Socks & Writer's Block

I've finally decided to share one of my poems on here. Please be nice haha!  Air Red fluorescent light Blinks 1:47 mocking me Why am I awake? Someone switched the air With lead, it's impossible To breathe but I hear Voices in the hall Laughing, drunken delights While I lay in terror Stomach surging with Threats to spew, please not again I beg. Fear sets in Running my hand through Knotted hair, damp with fresh sweat Why am I burning? And why do my teeth Chatter incessantly, knocking My racing mind around? Memories surface Mom sitting with me by night “Panic attack,” she whispers Expert fingers drawing Letters down my spine Until shaking turns to sleep I try to remember Those things she said to do if This happened again “Just say it's ok.” “It's all in your head, it's ok.” “Say it out loud, ok?” It's ok. It's ok. It's ok I open my mouth To ...

Sometimes I ask Sammy if he still likes me. He used to think this was ridiculous, but now he doesn't. I remember reading a quote somewhere that said you don't always have to like your partner, but you always have to love them. After these craazy 2.5 years together, I know that he's always going to love me. (And I know there's tons more of crazy to come.) He's seen all the good, the bad, the crazy, and even the puking and for some reason he's still here, and still stays up late at night to tell me why he's still here. I know he'll always love me, but I also know there are times that I'm annoying and that he might not like me. That's definitely been something to learn. I don't like it when people are annoyed with me. I want to fix it right away. If I had it my way, I'd never be annoying. Sadly, that's not how it works. So I find myself asking Sammy if he still likes me at times. And he always gives a little laugh and tells me yes, h...

On Monday, my grandpa ran the Bolder Boulder. I'm so proud of him! The thought of running fills me with a cold sweat so I've always been inspired by people who can run. Especially my grandpa who started in his thirties and is still going. I got up early Monday and was able to go watch him run. It was a cool experience being down there with all the people. Boulder is such a cool place, I love Colorado. There were a lot of people dressed up in suits. Here were the bears. I swear I saw these same two at a suicide prevention run I participated in awhile ago.  My grandpa is in the yellow! Crossing the finish line!  It was funny being in the stadium. It's the CU Boulder stadium. I go to the Denver branch of the school. Previous years, CU Denver students were able to get into games in Boulder at the same rate as Boulder kids. But this year my school got their own separate mascot, so we're not allowed in anymore since we're 'branching' off.  ...

My brother was invited to an awesome Star Wars party and there was a surprise. REAL stormtroopers were coming, so all the family and friends were invited to come watch, and boy was it awesome! Happy Birthday Star Wars!

It's a week into summer and it feels like it's been so much longer. I've gotten more done this week than I did most weeks of school. I don't feel the need to take naps all the time either. It's summer and I'm living. I've already gotten my Apple certification, I'm now an Apple Product Professional which means I should be getting a raise at work! I've been riding the bus as well so I've had time to write and read during times I would have been driving. There was one day I missed the bus and I was so mad at myself and as I was driving, I saw the bus I would have been on broken down on the side of the road. I'd said a prayer before work to get there on time and Heavenly Father really had my back.  I've finished a book already, Smoke and Bone by Laini Taylor. It was a great read, I'd definitely recommend it. I've decided that I'm forever going to be  reading teen books, they're great. We took Sammy to Thorntonfest for the f...

Goals for the Summer: Go back to checking LDS.org rather than Facebook Write a page everyday for fun Save, save, save money Get Apple Certified Go Swimming Read as many books as possible After I finish this fifteen page paper, it's go time! Summer, I am so ready for you

It's my last day in my dorm room. I never thought I'd be so sad to leave. I DON'T WANNA LEAVE! They always say that once you move out of the house, you never want to go back and boy is that statement true. I'm going to miss just going wherever the heck I want to go when I want to. I'm going to miss my own bathroom. I'm going to miss walking around the city. I'm going to miss the train horns every few minutes, they're soothing to me. I'm going to miss my desk and my bed and my window and my favorite spotted pigeon and the squirrels. But most of all I'm going to miss the people. I've spent ten months with these people and never thought that I would be so close to them. I was really worried when I started college that I wouldn't make friends, or that they wouldn't accept me. I was so wrong. I made so many friends who are AWESOME and don't pressure me to go out and drink or do anything I don't want to do. They're still my frie...

(P.S. I based this story on a song by All Time Low called Remembering Sunday.)  “Hey, I'm Alex. It's nice to meet you.” Not what I'd been expecting. He'd looked me right in the eyes, those eyes he'd said he could write an endless amount of songs about. He'd looked right at them, and hadn't recognized me. Yeah, I'd changed a bit too. Given in my too small converse for heels. Let my razor cut hair reach past my shoulders, and someone with experience use scissors. Wrinkles had started to form in the corners of my eyes and lips. Ten years tend to do that to a person. Alex was looking at me with expectation. “Julie.” “Nice name. Is it alright if we warm up?” “You do whatever you want.” I turned and carefully made my way to the mixer next door, thankful for the tinted glass and that Lance was here. If he wasn't, I might have just left the building. That or pulled the fire alarm. Whenever doing a session, I always r...

I have three finals done, two to go. Yay! Thank you for all the sweet words of encouragement. Oh, P.S my last blogpost was actually a presentation for a class, I hate powerpoints and don't trust the links in them so I used my blog instead, that's why it makes no sense. Last week I taught Joice about rock and roll and Star Wars. I started with Luke and then circled back to Anakin. The best part was when I was telling her about the third movie she stopped me and said, wait. Anakin Skywalker is Darth Vadar?! It was a great moment. We had out last girls night of the semester. It was also my first one out on the town. Homebody living in the city problems. Joice and I ended up being the only ones who went at the last moment. Becca did my hair and Joice my makeup. Why didn't anyone ever tell me girls nights were so awesome? It always hits me how lucky I am to have gotten the opportunity to live in the dorms and have these ladies as my roommates. They're truly some of my be...