Crazy Socks & Writer's Block

Change is coming. It's already come. And keeps on coming. Once I thought I was off the hook for the change and growth this month, I realized what's coming and feel scared and don't want to wake up tomorrow. But I have to. Have to get up and find a way to deal with all these changes and balance them. Luckily I have a very smart bestby who tells me that it'll be ok, just have to take it one day at a time. Just one day. Then the next day. I can deal with a day. One day. I can do that.  Thinking about all this reminded me of this poem I did a project on in Brit Lit. Best class I ever took in my whole life. I use things I learned in there every. Single. Day. I'm thankful for a teacher who made me learn to appreciate poetry, even the 'old stuff that no one can understand.'  When I Have Fears by John Keats When I have fears that I may cease to be, Before my pen has glean'd my teeming brain, Before high-piled books, in charactery, Hold like rich ...

. . . He's BACK!!!! The bestby's back! I'm thankful he's back because, I missed him, and I could finally communicate all the things I couldn't over the phone. His mom texted me the day he left and asked if I wanted to come with her to pick him up from the airport. Of course I said yes. So today I drove over to his house, got there about twenty minutes before we were even supposed to leave, and we were on our way. I'm so glad that it's so easy to get along with his mom. I learned a whole lot today during that drive. The funniest parts were when he'd be on the phone with his mom and I'd have to be so quiet and then he would text me seconds later saying the exact same thing I'd heard him say to his mom. Anyways. I hid in the back and ducked and fought the urge to look up. I was so excited to see him! The back door opened, they loaded up their luggage, fought over the shot gun. The bestby had no idea I was sitting inches away. When he lost the batt...

Yesterday, I gave the singles ward another chance. Yep. That's right. Guess what? It was a lot better. That's what ward I will be attending for college, since, the college singles ward I'm supposed to go to requires four bus transfers and walking two miles to get too. Did I mention it's only 12 miles away? It's going to be hard enough to get my butt up for church anyways. I don't want to have any excuses such as, Oh, it's -5 degrees outside. I'm not walking two miles in the snow drifts. Which is why I've decided to go to the singles branch instead. Only one bus and only walking half a mile. Score! It was much better! All my friends were there, there was a completely different atmosphere. I liked it a lot. I even signed up to make quesadillas for next Sunday, which is a big deal because I haven't really been able to make long term plans the past month. So hopefully all will go well and I will be here to serve quesadillas. Which ones are the ques...

Isn't there some song about confessions? Yeah, never heard it. But I've got some confessions. 1. I think the Fancy Feast cat love story is So. Stinking. Cute! I love how they continued it over multiple commercials. Brilliance. 2. I really dislike James Patterson. Mostly because he has a whole section in the bookstore, and his name is THIS BIG  on all his books while the name of the other author who probably wrote most of the books name is  This Big. James Patterson? I'm onto you. I know you probably write one chapter in the whole book, then say you co-wrote it, then put your name at the top in really big letters while the true authors name is so tiny, then you go make a commercial with your creepy self and say, "Hey, I just wrote this new book, woo I'm so awesome I make commercials even though I'm a pathological liar, so you should read my book!" Plus, he took one of my favorite series of all time and made it run on forever and ever and ever...

Dear Tuesday, You turned out to be a great day. Dear Batman, I can't believe Christian Bale came here, on his own. When I heard the news I couldn't stop smiling and got goosebumps. I have a new respect for him now. Go Batman! Dear Razor, I'm growing out my armpit hair in protest of the bestby leaving again. It seems like the right thing to do. Plus, it'll be so satisfactory to shave next week! Woo! Dear Library, Why are you filled with so many sad books? Well, let me rephrase that. Why was every book I picked up about serial killers or sleeping with a teacher? I want to read a happy book. Next time I will come with a list. Your air conditioning was muchly needed though. And I love your comfy couches in the political section, my bum needed it. Thanks for a great day. Dear Dorm, I'll be moving in a couple of weeks. I'm getting pretty excited and sad at the same time. Dear Water, I can't get enough of you. Dear Camera, I need to put you back ...

I'm not one of those people who wakes up in the morning and is like OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS I WANT TO PLAY A GAME! They're just not really my thing. Whenever I've been at church camps and activities and heck, recess, I've always dreaded the little games. The teamwork games. The slap hand games. The remember everyone's animal sound sign games. Video games. Those ones. I've just never really gotten into them. I'd rather talk, think, write, relax, be silly. That's just me. But there are three games I rather enjoy. Clue being the first. I'm a boss at Clue. Or at least I was the last time I played it. The second, is whenever I go out to eat with a friend, if they ever get a refill on their drink before leaving, I go hide from them. It's so funny. They just stare around lost and confused at how I somehow got away from them while they were engrossed in their refill. My third favorite is leaving things in the bestby's little brothers room, and ...

This one, I was experimenting writing in second person. Well kind of. And I was inspired from a friend's crazy love life. Yeah.       I remember that day as clearly as if it was yesterday. For all that matters it could've been yesterday. Such a cliché phrase I know. But that's all that day was, a day of cliches. I was headed over to Enrique's for dinner. Then we were going to go see a movie. Well, that's what my mom thought anyways. We were actually going to a party at one of Enrique's homies houses. He was one of those people, the kind that call their friends homies. Cliché. I didn't really want to go to the party that night. It'd been awhile since Enrique and I had gone out alone on an actual date. Like, to a movie. Those days of simple dates had stopped two months ago. Enrique had found something else he loved to do. But that was ok. Because I loved Enrique. I loved him.      When I arrived at Enrique's house, his younger brother opened the...

There's a lot of love being sent to Colorado right now. And apparently some hate. Thanks to the Westboro Baptist Church. They make me pretty upset. Because there's practically nothing to be done, they thrive on the attention. Well, at least they bring in tourist money, they sure do come here a lot. Ha. ha. Anyways, that's not what I wanted to focus on. A friend of mine posted the link to the blog of one of the victims. I read it and laughed at her analysis of hockey and her snark. So creative. The first post is pretty eerie though. Take some time out of your day. Read her blog here . Reading this blog made me think back to last October when my 7th grade English teacher passed away to cancer. When it happened, everyone at my school couldn't stop talking about it. Most of them hadn't even met her. But now? Most of them have probably forgotten. Forgotten her fight. Her smile. Her sarcastic jokes. Honestly, I didn't get to know her as well as many of my other te...

I love it when people play with my hair. Love. Love. Love. I thought everyone loved this, but then I asked a whole lot of friends, and they said they didn't. They're seriously missing out. I have this memory of me laying in my mom's lap in this room with big black bookshelves and storage shelfs, and plants, and her playing with my hair. I can't think of any place I've been with big black bookshelves and storage shelves and plants though. I don't know if this actually even happened. But it's a nice memory. I still love laying on my mom's lap and her playing with my hair. And I love it when the bestby plays with my hair. He finally learned how to do it right. Yep there's a right and a wrong way. One of those little moments that make me happy. :) So do turkey stakes. And fry sauce. Frozen yogurt. Spending time with my family. My brother coming home. And the bestby with my family, eating turkey stakes dipped in fry sauce after frozen yogurt. It was a...

I don't have words for what happened last night. It makes me sick. We were at a different theater. But still. It was so close. It was so easy. Why do these things happen? Well, I don't know and I don't know if I ever will. The first thing I thought of when I heard the news was that they were just trying to make the movie come to life. Not going to lie. I was a little disturbed by the movie itself. The darkness of Bane. There were moments I stared at the bestby like, did he really just do that? Who could think of that? Yes, it was a good movie. The photography/what do you call it in a movie? was beautiful, the music perfect for every scene. The theme of never giving up and strength from within shown through the whole thing. But I'm probably never going to watch the movie again. Because I'll always think of those people, and the sick sick feeling in my stomach. And wonder if violence in movies had some effect. This is all so scary. But I'm alive. Still breathi...

You only live once. That's what the song says. Which everyone thought was an excuse to go out and party as hard as they could because, they only live once. I was thinking about that before I went to bed last night. You only live once. I believe that there's a life after death. An eternity. But I also want to make the most out of this time on earth. Because, you only live once. Which is why I thought it was entirely appropriate to continue eating pizza while sitting on the toilet. Because, you only live once. And it was a really good piece of pizza. I couldn't put it down just because my bladder was going to erupt. YOLO!

As many of you may know, The Dark Knight Rises comes out in approximately 25 hours. If you didn't know that, that's ok. I've know this since last summer, when the bestby and I went to see Harry Potter with some of my favorite people and he clutched my hand so tight and sat straight up in his seat, gasping and saying he couldn't believe this, he couldn't believe this was real, that BATMAN was returning! It was the cutest thing I'd ever seen, but I had no idea at the time just how deep his love for Bruce Wayne went at the time, so his out of the blue excitement scared me a little bit. Now? Now I know his Batman voice from his Bane voice from his Joker voice. I know why Bane's voice sounds like it does. I know where the Batman section of our local comic book store is. I've had to tell him multiple times that I won't kiss him when he tells me to in his Batman voice. ;) I know when a Batman commercial is coming on just from the chanting. I don't e...

Dear Wednesday, Thank you for letting me sleep in. :) It was muchly appreciated. Dear Victoria's Secret, Goodbye. I put in my two weeks notice yesterday. I hope you don't miss me too much. Ha. Ha. Ha. Dear Campus Bookstore, Thank you for hiring me. Thank you for hiring me on the spot. I have high hopes that things will be much more enjoyable with you. Plus, you aren't open on Sundays, so I won't have to worry about that. But alas, you are just a temporary job for the start. I will work my butt off. Hopefully that will be enough to stay. Dear Traffic, Thank you for letting me get to where I needed to be on time, twice. :) Dear Ginger, Thanks for waking me up at four in the morning because you wanted a treat. And when said treat went under the stove, you wanted another one. Then you wouldn't come back to bed because you wanted to get the treat under the stove. You're a dork. But I still love you. Dear Family, Thank you for the fun day yesterday. Wh...

Chapter 34: Planets What are planets? Well, they are really ginormous beach balls that have been filled with air, and rocks and a bunch of other stuff. Where did they come from? I dunno. Maybe a plastic factory. Who cares? They exist so just deal with it. Planets are out in outer space, not inner space. They are held out there by very strong men who are being punished. The order of the planets is, Earth Pluto Mercury Mars Neptune Jupiter Venus Saturn and Youranus (some dodo heads like to spell this one Uranus.) A little rhyme to help you remember them is, Every platypus makes major narwhals jump very sophisticatedly your majesty. On leap day, the order changes around. But that only happens once every year so don't worry about it. Pluto is ruled by Mickey Mouses dog. He came to power in the year 1931, after a picnic. He is sometimes mistaken as a very goofy dog, but he isn't. He never drives anything with the word Rover in it. The planet Pluto is the outcast o...

I have some confessions to make. 1. I really, really, REALLY want to meet Randy from Say Yes to the Dress. Like, really bad. But, I would never spend thousands of dollars on a wedding dress from Kleinfelds, so that's a bit of a problem. 2. I've always wanted to live in a little house. I've never dreamt of mansions, I've dreamt of little cottages. So when I found this website, my imagination went a little crazy.  Tumbleweed Houses 3. I made a twitter just so I could tell Jeffrey Donovan that I used a quote from his show as my senior quote. And that his future mother in law taught me astronomy. He didn't reply. I haven't gotten on since. 4. I have a phobia of puking. It's starting to get really bad. 5. During my Singing in the Rain cute date sugar high, the bestby and I got promise rings. The one I picked during my sugar high hurts my finger. So I now have this one. His is already turning his finger green. Hahaha! 6. I'm not even sure if b...

Last year, the bestby was in a Film Study class. One of the most coveted classes in all of high school. Getting graded to watch movies? Who doesn't want that? (It was a much harder class than everyone thought, just by the way.) I wanted to take that class as well. My favorite parts of movies is watching the bonus features on how they're made. But alas. 2/3 of the movies they watched were rated r. I made a personal decision for myself two years ago that I would never watch another R rated movie after watching many. So when I saw film study on my schedule, I sadly went and got it removed and switched for a different class. But I wished that I could take the class and learn about how movies were made. Luckily for me, my English teacher was teaching the bestby's film study class. And it just so happened to be on my off hour. So one day I had a talk with him, explained my dilemma, and he let me sit in on his class whenever they weren't watching R movies! I was a dang good ...

Yesterday, I went and applied for a job downtown, so I can hopefully have a job when I start school. Because I'm going to be let go from Vikki's soon. So anyways. I went downtown with the bestby. He drove because he's a sweetheart and doesn't get stressed out while driving like I do. Especially downtown. Plus I wasn't feeling so hot. So we went down town, turned in the application, browsed the bookstore. Then we were leaving. And I saw it. A huge poster that said Jack Hanna is coming August 22 at 11:00!!! I stopped right in my tracks and let out a little squeal. He better bring the kangaroo. And let me pet it. I love Jack Hanna. I spent most of childhood watching and rewatching three of his tapes on VHS. My favorite was the baby animals one. Jack Hanna introduced me to silent movies. Jack Hanna fueled my love for the little creatures of the earth. He also gave me the words to describe a friends noisy chewing back in ninth grade. (He sounded like a iguana eati...

I've decided to share a little bit of my writing every monday. Try it out for a bit. So here's this weeks excerpt! When we reached the studio and the sound room, Lance watched over my shoulder as I turned everything on making sure it worked. “Why're you doing that before the band is even here with everything hooked up?” he asked. I shrugged in response. It was just something that I did. Once everything looked good, it was time to go meet the band. I opened up the door to the waiting room where the band was sitting. Then I about fainted. Because he was sitting there with a big grin on his face. I swallowed the big lump in my throat. Swallowed again just for good measure. Did he recognize me? How could he not? But he wasn't saying anything. What did that mean? My flight or fight reflexes were kicking in and my body was screaming hysterically at me to run. But I couldn't because I had a job to do. Plus I was wearing three inch heels. Which are nothing compared ...

I'm Home!!!! It feels so great! I had a great time out in Utah but its good to be back home. Guess who was waiting for me in the driveway?! If you guessed the bestby, you would be correct. I ran over to him like I have never ran before. By the time I was done hugging him, the fan had half the car unpacked. Actually, they didn't. But it was a very very long muchly needed hug. I was so happy. I really missed him. But I didn't let that stop me from having a good time with relatives. I feel a little stronger now, having gone this long without him. Since he was over, he helped unpack and then we caught up and watched the Bachelorette together. When Emily was describing all the guys in the beginning, he told me that all of those guys were just trying to hard to be like him. Made me laugh! I missed my little nerd! Did I mention that already? He was then unimpressed with Sean and was analyzing all of his body language. He told me he likes Jef because he turned down the fantasy su...

Kidding about bad driving. Watching movies with my grandpa. Asking bout underwear. Helping on puzzles. Little brother letting me have the mattress. Shopping. Shopping. Shopping. Cutting off tassels. Laughing at the dogs. Cleaning up after my mom. Putting things in the wrong cart. Running in the rain. Fighting over pens. Fireworks. I do's. Laughing. Smiling. Taco Time. Cooking corn in the microwave. Life is fragile. Hiding. Tech lessons. Misspelled words. Silly texts. Nerds. Reality check. Getting away. Family time. New cousins. Redhead jokes. So much has happened in these past few days. I can't even remember it all. Just jotting a few things down. Pictures to come. I want to go home yet, I don't at the same time. So much family, so much love. And realizations. This is why I love blogging. I was feeling a little annoyed with some people after spending so much time with them over the past few days. But just jotting these things down makes me remem...

Guess who's going on a road trip?! Yeah, me:) Leaving tomorrow with mi madre and heading to the good ole state of Utah to go see family and go to a wedding! It was a spur of the moment wedding so I wasn't sure if I'd actually be going to it haha! But I'm excited to get out of town for a few days and see family and eat some delicious food. Plus, it's going to be just me and my mom so we can do whatever the heck we want when we want! Can you spell shopping?  So if you're wondering where I disappeared to, that's where! So you in a bit! :) Happy Early 4th of July. I love this country and I'm so proud of all the men and women who fought and continually fight to keep us free. I know that there's no way that we would be this country without the help of God inspiring great people. I remember this movie I saw about stories of George Washington and others about times God spared them and inspired them. It gives me goosebumps just thinking about it. Interest...

Here's a little bit of a story I just finished, but haven't edited yet. It's about how your nightmares come to life at night, and this group of people stops them from getting you. Yeah. Let me know what you think! :) I put two different little sections, yeah! Sorry if it's confusing, it's from the middle.    “Your dreams are real,” Mr. M said. “They aren't dreams. The mind is a powerful tool and makes the  things that happen in your head a reality. Every. Single. Night. Most of the time, that isn't a problem. Most dreams are good. But what about the nightmares? That's where we come in. We make sure your nightmares don't get you every night. We like to call ourselves The Dreamcatchers. Pretty catchy huh?” he grinned. I remember having no clue what he'd just said.    Right then a voice started talking in my ear. “There's some free fallers at your four o clock.” Derek and I immediately started running towards them, pulling out ...