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When I Have Fears

Change is coming. It's already come. And keeps on coming. Once I thought I was off the hook for the change and growth this month, I realized what's coming and feel scared and don't want to wake up tomorrow. But I have to. Have to get up and find a way to deal with all these changes and balance them. Luckily I have a very smart bestby who tells me that it'll be ok, just have to take it one day at a time. Just one day. Then the next day. I can deal with a day. One day. I can do that. 

Thinking about all this reminded me of this poem I did a project on in Brit Lit. Best class I ever took in my whole life. I use things I learned in there every. Single. Day. I'm thankful for a teacher who made me learn to appreciate poetry, even the 'old stuff that no one can understand.' 

When I Have Fears by John Keats

When I have fears that I may cease to be,
Before my pen has glean'd my teeming brain,
Before high-piled books, in charactery,
Hold like rich garners the full ripen'd grain;
When I behold, upon the night's starr'd face,
Huge cloudy symbols of a high romance,
And think that I may never live to trace
Their shadows, with the magic hand of chance;
And when I feel, fair creature of an hour,
That I shall never look upon thee more,
Never have relish in the faery power
Of unreflecting love;--then on the shore
Of the wide world I stand alone, and think
Till love and fame to nothingness do sink.
-John Keats

I absolutely love this poem. I interpret it different every single time I read it. Today it reassures me that it's alright if I don't get to do everything I want to do. It's ok if nobody on the other side of the world knows my name. If for some reason the world ended tomorrow, the love story I'm living right now is perfect, even if it didn't get finished. I know that there's an eternity for that.

I still have some fears, but tomorrow? I can deal with tomorrow. When it's tomorrow. 

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