Racism, stereotypes, and plain ole judging

Being in a class dedicated to the idea of migration has really kept the idea of racism on the brain. In elementary school, the idea of racism was so defined to me, thinking people are better than others based solely on the color of their skin.

It wasn't until middle school after reading many books that I realized racism wasn't jut as issue of black versus white, rather it applies to all cultures.

In high school I was actually shocked to here racist statements from people I loved. All the sudden this issue became personal somewhat. (My favorite statement was from a little girl who said, it should be illegal for Mexicans to have babies. I guess I can't have kids then.) 

But it wasn't until last week when we did an activity in my public health class that I realized that I myself was being racist as well. Now, this is something I am not proud of. I'm very embarrassed actually and that activity was humbling. Why am I writing about this? Because, it's something that i believe needs to be talked about. It's something that's very real, and how can we make changes if we don't even realize there's a problem? I'm not proclaiming to know everything or anything of that sort. I'm just sharing my experience and ask for respect in that. 

In class, we were talking specifically about the difference between internal and external racism. External is what most people think about, spouting racial slurs, and outwardly hating a group of people. Internal on the other hand is less obvious and can be unconscious. The examples to explain this where when a doctor walks into an exam room and just looks at a patient, they respond differently depending on what the y look like. They may be shorter with certain people without even talking to them. They may or may not prescribe certain treatments. The list goes on. But, the doctor doesn't even realize that they're doing this, that they're putting people into groups and changing the quality of care based on that. 

That was when it hit me. I've been doing the exact same thing at my work. I'm looking at a person and based on one single attribute, giving them a different customer experience. I was putting people into groups. And yes, looking back, a lot of it had to do with race. "Oh, they're the international exchange students, they're going to buy the most expensive computer and then expect me to set it up for them."   "Oh, he looks this way, he's going to reek of cologne." "Oh, I better watch him, he looks suspicious, and has a big coat." "Oh, she's going to be really difficult to deal with, I'll just send her to that department." "Wow, he just bought $200 headphones but is complaining about the price of a book, I know what school they go to." "She reeks of pot, she's not serious about getting that computer." 

I realized that some of these don't even have to do with race. They have to do with stereotyping and just plain old judging. "Well there's a reason that they're stereotypes in the first place" is something that I'd say. But that's not ok. It's really not. Something we've been discussing a lot is the idea about how one person that we encounter, we use as the example for the rest of the population that we think they come from. Just because one undocumented immigrant shot a police officer does not mean that the entire population of undocumented immigrants are cop killers. In fact that one person was an oddity. Yet they're the one that we are using as a reference for an entire population. 

I have some work to do. Yes, there are going to be customers who want me to help them set up their computers. Yes, some of them may happen to be the international students and it might take longer because of miscommunication. But in no way is it ok for me to not ask someone who I might think is an international student if they need any help because I am tired and don't want to sit on the phone with Microsoft and then turn right around and ask someone else if they need help just because of how they look or act or smell. 

I have some work to do. A lot actually. I'm trying to be more conscious of those things I've been doing, and give every person a fresh start, not just at work but everywhere. It's going to be hard. Really hard. But it's something I need to do. I'm so sorry to anyone who I may have mistreated or offended in anyway. I am nowhere near perfect and am learning and growing everyday. I've had so many people who have loved me no matter what it is I was doing, and I hope to be able to so the same, to everyone I meet. Or at least start them off on a clean slate with no preconceptions of them from a random detail.