20 Week Ultrasound/ Gender Reveal

Technically our 20 week ultrasound was on the last day of week 19, but who's counting ;) Before I was pregnant, I thought that I would spend every single day wondering what the babies gender was, and would have a countdown until I could find out, and that it would drive me crazy. It really hasn't though. Before that point, I would sometimes forget for hours that I was pregnant, and when I would try and 'feel' what the gender was, I felt nothing. As far as the gender went, we had a girl name that I absolutely adored and felt so right. I would be lying if I didn't say I wanted to buy girl clothes as well, and had dreams of raising a strong lady. All of the dreams I had, I was holding a girl as well. But I still didn't feel one way or the other very strongly.   

Most of my family thought that we were having a boy, along with half of my coworkers. Sammy's family all thought it was a girl though. Sammy didn't feel very strongly either what it was. I didn't let myself get excited about the appointment until the day of. I also didn't really let myself get super excited about the baby in general up until that point. I've heard so many horror stories of things going wrong, that I think I wasn't letting myself get too attached. But I think that's not fair. No matter what happens, this is my baby and I love them and I want to enjoy this time. 

The morning of the appointment, the baby was moving like crazy again and Sammy was able to feel it move. I didn't think that he'd be able to feel that yet, but he did. He screamed again in surprise, and then waited a good five minutes trying to feel something again. We headed off to the doctor and I told the baby that it better be good and cooperate so that we could see if it was growing alright, and what it was.

We had to wait for twenty minutes before the appointment and they felt like they went on forever. I'm usually calm about my appointments until I get into the waiting room. That's when my heart starts racing and I feel like I might get sick and oh no. I'm glad that Sammy was there with me though. Finally we were called back and the tech asked me when my due date was. When I told her, she said I was there way too early for this ultrasound and would need to reschedule. I was one day away from twenty weeks, so I was pretty confused. Then she apologized saying that she did her math wrong and we got started.

The gel they put on my belly this time was really warm which was a surprise, usually it's cold. This ultrasound was a lot more uncomfortable than my previous ones. Baby G is getting bigger and taking up a more space, so I felt a lot more pressure whenever she pushed down. The baby was also in a weird spot, so she started pressing really hard on the sides of my belly to try and get them to move over. It was pretty painful and then my anxious mind started racing, wondering what other pains I'm going to have to endure before all of this is over. No one talks about ultrasounds hurting, so what's the other pain like?

Finally, Baby G was in the right spot and she started taking a lot of pictures of them. At one point Sammy asked her a question, to which she said, "This is cross sectional anatomy, so unless you're familiar with that it's not going to make any sense." I've noticed at my appointments that most of the doctors give Sammy an attitude or ignore him altogether when he asks questions, but if I ask a question they are so polite. It's a little annoying to see them brush him off, but I know that when you're receiving the same questions over and over all day every day, it can get old. Also, it's weird to see because usually when we go out, people brush me off because I'm a woman. This is the one time that it's been flipped.

I didn't really say much during the whole ultrasound because I was so uncomfortable. You see all of these moments in movies and think that it's going to be one way, but in reality it's completely different. We were able to see all the different parts of the baby, including the blood flowing through it. It was crazy to see that this little human has all of it's bones and heart and kidneys and how they're all working already.

At one point we saw the face but she still had the viewer to see bones, so we got this lovely smile from the baby. Can't you see the resemblance between us?

By the time the technician was ready to check for the gender, I was so uncomfortable and just wanted it to be over. She flipped the screen and didn't even have to announce what it was, I instantly knew that we were having a boy.

If I'm being completely honest, I did feel a little disappointed for a brief moment. These were the nonsensical thoughts going through my head: how in the world Sammy and I were going to settle on a boy name because we have looked at SO many and Sammy and I just do not have the same taste. I'm not a boy, so I have no idea what it's like to be one, so how am I supposed to raise one? I have to feed kids lunches at the library once a week for an hour, and I spend the majority of that hour chastising the boys and appalled by their behavior. Plus, no tutus, and people would judge me if I got that floral patterned boppy I'd had my eye on, and everyone would send me clothes with blue trucks on them and I don't want to spend the next ten years of my life learning about trucks and trains because that's the only thing my kid is interested in because of gender norms that everyone else is going to throw on him.

I hope that in sharing these thoughts I don't come off as ungrateful, or like I am not absolutely excited for this baby. I just want to be honest about what I felt in that moment because I know that lots of people feel similar things at times. Those feelings lasted for only a few minutes, then went away. I am so excited for this baby and am going to love him so much.

She finished up the ultrasound and gave us all of the pictures and Sammy and I went out to the car. He asked me what I was feeling and I told him everything. He said that Heavenly Father is trusting us with this boy and has picked him specifically for us, and that everything else would work out, and I could get whatever pattern boppy I wanted because who cares what anyone else thinks.

Sammy's first thoughts once hearing that it was a boy was that he'd have to give him the talk one day, teach him how to pee, and other things. He then asked me if we should get him circumcised, something I have not thought anything about and told Sammy that he could make alllllll of the decisions on that front.

We originally wanted to do a gender reveal party of some sort, but Sammy's parents were leaving the next morning, and mine weren't available that night. I googled for weeks trying to come up with the perfect way to announce it, and it kept getting more and more complicated and stressful. I kept bouncing ideas off of Sammy and he didn't understand any of them. My coworker Jen made me this awesome Goblet of Fire, so the night before I made a short video on Instagram saying "Witch or Wizard, what will it be? Soon enough we all will see. Baby Gomez and the Goblet of Fire." Once I made that short video, Sammy got a better idea of what I was trying to do and asked me why I didn't just say that. I had. 🙈

After our appointment, Sammy just texted his family with a picture of the baby, asking what they thought it was. They all said girl, and then Sammy texted them the picture proving that it was definitely not a girl. His mom called him immediately and was so happy, but also said that Baby G needs to be a bit more modest. They were all really happy though.

While Sammy was on the phone, I recorded the scene in Goblet of Fire when the goblet is spitting out flames and then the last paper with Harry's name with it. I recorded it so that it showed the paper flying, then got a small piece of paper and burned the edges so that it looked similar to the movie. I had Sammy write Wizard on it because I love his handwriting, then put my own little movie together in about ten minutes on my phone. Sammy was really impressed with it and kept saying how it was such a good idea and why didn't I just tell him that's what I was going to do? I was pretty tempted to smack him at that point.

Sammy had to go to work, so he dropped me off at my parent's house. My mom, sister, and grandma were there and I projected my little movie onto their tv to tell them what the baby was. They all thought it was a boy anyway so I don't think they were very surprised. I texted the video to my dad at work, and he asked me if Sammy was so happy because he'd have a mini him.

At this point it still didn't feel real that I was having a baby, and that it was a boy. We went shopping then for baby clothes and I was pleasantly surprised to see a lot of cute things that I liked, that were also not covered in trucks. I had fun going through all the clothes, and I'm glad that my mom was there to remind me that they were summer clothes so I needed to get much bigger sizes depending on how old the baby will be next summer, and that I really need to get footie pajamas to keep the baby warm.


That night when I got home, Sammy found the bag of baby clothes while I was in the bathroom and when I came out, he was SO excited. He loved them and a few of the outfits he wanted to wear himself. He started going on about how he was going to get the same outfits as the baby and they'd match, and then they'd take selfies together. He said that the baby was going to be a better dresser than him, but not really because Sammy is a really good dresser. It wasn't until that moment of seeing him be so excited about baby clothes, that I could finally picture myself having a son and I started feeling really excited. After that, I started trying to picture what he'll look like, and where he'll go, and things I could do with him. Now I'm actually excited to look at baby gear because I know what to look at, and I'm starting to see myself with a son.

Before the appointment, Sammy and I had a tentative boy name picked out, the only name we've been able to settle on after years of talking about it. After the appointment, he said he didn't know if it was the one. We're still trying to figure out what we think, and I hope we can come to some sort of agreement in the next few months ;) And no, I will not be telling anyone what the names might be. Partly because I don't want to hear people's opinions on them, and partly because my dad doesn't think I can keep a secret that long. I intend to prove him wrong. :)

We're getting more and more excited for October when we can meet Baby G!