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Bowl Half Empty

It's been a crazy weekend. But, this morning, I thought of some reasons to be positive while in the shower. And some jokes for my stand up routine.

1. I'm not pregnant! Not that that was a worry of mine, my wallet still has this in it.

Get it? ;)

2. I can say I'm looking at the toilet bowl as half empty and not be called a pessimist. 

3. I have no desire to go out to eat ever again. Or eat desserts. So that saves my wallet and my blood sugar.

4. I have no energy to take a long shower- saving water! 

5. I wanted to give up the internet during break, staring at a computer screen makes me feel sick!

6. Why am I blogging then?

7. I have lots of time to write. Well, except for reason 4.

8. I have lots of time to read! Well, except reading makes me feel sick too.

9. I'll look awesome for swim suit season now. Except, I don't wear bikinis. Or know how to swim. And there's a foot of snow outside. 

10. I have an excuse to nap all day

11. I no longer see eating saltine crackers out of a package as awesome. So I won't be taking them from restraunts anymore. More for the rest of humanity. 

12. I don't have to think of an excuse for not going to parties this week.

13. If I have to puke at work, I can puke in either a trash can or the recycling bin! 

That's all for now. Goodnight. 

Comments

  1. AnonymousMarch 25, 2013 at 1:13 PM

    Feel better soon!!! And hahaha I totally get #1.

    ReplyDelete

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