I watched the Young Women broadcast voluntarily for the first time tonight. I'm on a spiritual high right now. There were so many messages and things that were said that seemed to be said just for me. After having a conversation with a young women earlier this week, I left feeling hopeless. Sick. And so very grateful that certain people came into my life exactly when they did, that I had the friends I had, the leaders, and parents who listened and tried their best to understand. Most importantly, a loving Heavenly Father who knew me, everything about me that I didn't even know, and loves me so much. Who will never leave me.
As I was feeling hopeless, I talked it out with my mom and Sammy. And I came to the realization that, if you can take out the girls of the world, everything afterwards will be ruined. In the reverse, if you save a young women, you save the future. Sadly, the teenage years effect everything else in our lives. Choices we make then can and will decide the rest of our lives. I'm already seeing some of these effects, and I'm just barely out of high school. I can't even think how the things I decided not even a year ago will change my grandchildren's lives. And right when we're at this age of deciding everything, is when we get hit the hardest. Hello drugs. Oh hey there sex. Goodbye self esteem. See ya later parental advice. Religion, what's that?
The biggest factor I believe is self esteem mixed in with boys. I was ok when I first started high school. I was comfortable with who I was. Then boys were thrown in the mix and all that went out the door. It was a whole new world. I'd never talked to them before, much less had one interested in me. And I wanted that, I wanted it bad. I spent the next two years changing and losing idea of who I was and what I believed. It was a slow process that picked up rapidly. It started with music. I gradually became more and more comfortable with things I'd never let my grandma hear. Then it was the language. Words I'd never heard before found their way slipping out of my mouth. When it did happen, I'd receive praise. Here I was, cussing.
The process went on and on until I was miserable and had no idea who I was. Depending on who I was with, I could mirror what they wanted to see. Luckily, a brave girl Courtney called me out on this. Then went on to get sucked into the cycle. That's when it hit me. Boys were stupid. This wasn't me. This wasn't who I wanted to be or who I wanted to be known as. I started to write again. I started to figure out who I was. And I started to slowly distance myself from those stupid boys. It took awhile, but it started to happen.
Right then was when Sammy and I became friends as well. I truly believe that if he'd been thrown into my life any earlier, things would be completely different right now. I also believe that without meeting him, I wouldn't have had as much confidence to become my own person, and be ok with me. As much as we can do on our own, it always help to have others. Now, I'm not saying that my self confidence is based soley on Mr. Sammy. It isn't. I know who I am. I'm a daughter of God. I'm Kylee. I'm pretty cool. I can make most people laugh. I'm a great listener. I'm creative. A hard worker. And I care, a lot. But right when this self was budding, Sammy came along and was a friend through the process. He accepted me for me, and liked it. And he was even of the male species.
This is what has me a bit worried. Not everyone gets to have a Sammy right when they're struggling. Not everyone goes through the minor things that I thought were ruining my world. We're all going through different things and need different things. That's when it hit me. Our Heavenly Father KNOWS us. He knows exactly what we're going through. He knows us. He knows what works for us and what we need. And he will enlist the help of others to accomplish those things. For me, it was a wake up call from Courtney and friendship with Sammy. But for someone else, who knows. I sure don't. But our Heavenly Father does and he's not going to leave us hanging.
This all sounds great. But, I'd heard all these things before. Many, many times. And when I was going through high school and all that, I completely ignored it. It didn't mean anything. They were just nice words. It wasn't until I'd experienced it all myself, taken a step back, and learned that I saw anything. I had to learn these things for myself, and I'm the kind of person who has to touch the hot burner to see it's hot. I think that a lot of people are that way as well. Some aren't as lucky as me though. They get in a lot deeper, where it seems impossible to get out. What about them? How can we help?
I personally can't do anything for them. But I can keep myself strong. I can keep myself in a good place, and keep doing the things I know I need to be doing. And then I can raise my children in the ways I know to be true. I can teach them from my experiences. Hopefully, they won't get too messed up in the teen years. That they'll have this knowledge somewhere down in them to remember in the dark times. And then they can teach their children those things.
I can take care of myself. I can share what I know. I can stay strong. And with that, I can change the world. Watch out world, I'm coming.
As I was feeling hopeless, I talked it out with my mom and Sammy. And I came to the realization that, if you can take out the girls of the world, everything afterwards will be ruined. In the reverse, if you save a young women, you save the future. Sadly, the teenage years effect everything else in our lives. Choices we make then can and will decide the rest of our lives. I'm already seeing some of these effects, and I'm just barely out of high school. I can't even think how the things I decided not even a year ago will change my grandchildren's lives. And right when we're at this age of deciding everything, is when we get hit the hardest. Hello drugs. Oh hey there sex. Goodbye self esteem. See ya later parental advice. Religion, what's that?
The biggest factor I believe is self esteem mixed in with boys. I was ok when I first started high school. I was comfortable with who I was. Then boys were thrown in the mix and all that went out the door. It was a whole new world. I'd never talked to them before, much less had one interested in me. And I wanted that, I wanted it bad. I spent the next two years changing and losing idea of who I was and what I believed. It was a slow process that picked up rapidly. It started with music. I gradually became more and more comfortable with things I'd never let my grandma hear. Then it was the language. Words I'd never heard before found their way slipping out of my mouth. When it did happen, I'd receive praise. Here I was, cussing.
The process went on and on until I was miserable and had no idea who I was. Depending on who I was with, I could mirror what they wanted to see. Luckily, a brave girl Courtney called me out on this. Then went on to get sucked into the cycle. That's when it hit me. Boys were stupid. This wasn't me. This wasn't who I wanted to be or who I wanted to be known as. I started to write again. I started to figure out who I was. And I started to slowly distance myself from those stupid boys. It took awhile, but it started to happen.
Right then was when Sammy and I became friends as well. I truly believe that if he'd been thrown into my life any earlier, things would be completely different right now. I also believe that without meeting him, I wouldn't have had as much confidence to become my own person, and be ok with me. As much as we can do on our own, it always help to have others. Now, I'm not saying that my self confidence is based soley on Mr. Sammy. It isn't. I know who I am. I'm a daughter of God. I'm Kylee. I'm pretty cool. I can make most people laugh. I'm a great listener. I'm creative. A hard worker. And I care, a lot. But right when this self was budding, Sammy came along and was a friend through the process. He accepted me for me, and liked it. And he was even of the male species.
This is what has me a bit worried. Not everyone gets to have a Sammy right when they're struggling. Not everyone goes through the minor things that I thought were ruining my world. We're all going through different things and need different things. That's when it hit me. Our Heavenly Father KNOWS us. He knows exactly what we're going through. He knows us. He knows what works for us and what we need. And he will enlist the help of others to accomplish those things. For me, it was a wake up call from Courtney and friendship with Sammy. But for someone else, who knows. I sure don't. But our Heavenly Father does and he's not going to leave us hanging.
This all sounds great. But, I'd heard all these things before. Many, many times. And when I was going through high school and all that, I completely ignored it. It didn't mean anything. They were just nice words. It wasn't until I'd experienced it all myself, taken a step back, and learned that I saw anything. I had to learn these things for myself, and I'm the kind of person who has to touch the hot burner to see it's hot. I think that a lot of people are that way as well. Some aren't as lucky as me though. They get in a lot deeper, where it seems impossible to get out. What about them? How can we help?
I personally can't do anything for them. But I can keep myself strong. I can keep myself in a good place, and keep doing the things I know I need to be doing. And then I can raise my children in the ways I know to be true. I can teach them from my experiences. Hopefully, they won't get too messed up in the teen years. That they'll have this knowledge somewhere down in them to remember in the dark times. And then they can teach their children those things.
I can take care of myself. I can share what I know. I can stay strong. And with that, I can change the world. Watch out world, I'm coming.
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