Social Media Fast

Sammy and I were listening in on a broadcast for the youth at church where they were asked to go on a social media fast for a week. While this was directed at people 12-18, Sammy and I both looked at each other and said that we wanted to do it. It was the last week before the LSAT and he really needed to study, along with our anniversary. I've noticed over the past few months that I've spent more and more time scrolling on social media, instead of getting things done.
Every night instead of writing or reading a book, I'd just keep hitting the refresh button over and over. This fast was something we both were excited about. We handed our phones over, changed the passwords, and deleted the apps. 

That first night was weird when we were going to bed. Instead of scrolling through everything one last time, and Sammy catching up on Twitter while playing with my hair, we put both of our phones down and just spent some time together. I slept better that night than I have in awhile. I don't know if it's because I wasn't on my phone, or just a happy coincidence, but it was glorious. 

On day one, I kept picking up my phone, then putting it back down. In the morning when I usually scroll through feeds, I listened to a podcast while I got ready. I got ready in record time and was so early for work. I felt more clear-headed for my day. However, I soon caught myself every ten minutes picking up my phone and just setting it down. 

The biggest time I noticed a difference was during my very frequent bathroom trips. Let's be real, most of the time the pants I'm wearing have my phone in my back pocket so I always have to grab it out, and why not get a quick glance at what's going on in the world. 😉

At lunch, instead of scrolling on feeds for half of the time, I kept going to Buzzfeed and reading meaningless articles. I realized Buzzfeed was just the same, so I needed to get off of there. I read a whole book that day instead, but then felt the need to tweet the author and tell her that I absolutely loved it, and to add it to my insta stories of books I like. 

I kept composing tweets in my head and thinking of things that would make good instagram posts. My wedding anniversary was this week, what on earth was I going to do if I couldn't post about it? Was it even valid then? ;)

I kept thinking throughout the day how good this was though, and maybe I won't go back, or only go back once a week after this is over. We'll see what I'm saying at the end of the week.

***
Day two I woke up and just wanted to look at something. I went through Buzzfeed but there was nothing new. I went back and found a bunch of blogs that I'd forgotten about and caught up on those. As my morning went on though, I started feeling more and more anxious. By the time I drove to work I felt so overwhelmed I just wanted to have a straight-up sob fest. I'm not sure if these are withdrawal symptoms, or what. I suspect that the reason I have been scrolling on social media so much lately is that my anxiety has been worse and I've just been using it as a distraction. Now that I don't have it, I actually have to face my feelings, and there are a lot of them. Exercise helped me level out in the past, but now I'm not able to do that as often. Most nights I can barely manage a five minute walk.

***
Day three was okay until the anxiety hit for no reason in the afternoon and wouldn't go away. I was able to get some writing done though, but since the story has twitter elements, I couldn't check what the format looked like to imitate it in my story. I'm determined to keep going though, hoping that there's a hump I just need to get over where things get easier.

***

Day four was our wedding anniversary and it felt weird not posting about it, which, how sad is that? It does not make the day any less because I didn't share with the world some sappy message and old pictures. Our anniversary is just about the two of us, and that's good enough for me. I wanted to look up some wedding pictures to send Sammy though, but realized that they were on Facebook so I couldn't get to them. I'm going to be putting those on my phone when I get home.

I received an email from Instagram telling me that I needed to check out the new posts from all of my friends that day too which was a bit freaky. It knew I was trying to get away and was trying to lure me back in.

***

On day five I received some unexpected work news so I said screw it and asked Sammy for my password. I went into this challenge sure that Sammy was going to break early, but it was really me. The day that I went on was not the best of days since it was when the news about Anthony Bourdain broke and all over my twitter people were sharing their own stories about struggles with mental health, and it was honestly too much all at once. I logged off of there and waited a few days to come back.

***

I learned during this challenge just how much time I'm spending on my phone. I saw how much of a crutch it was for me and I'm not happy about that. I also noticed that my eyes bother me less throughout the day when I'm not looking at social media all the time. While I was off social media, I filled that hole with useless articles and news, which wasn't much better.

Sammy had a great fast. He didn't break early, and he was able to get so much done during work and in the evenings. I'm really proud of him for making it, I thought that he would be begging for them back but he didn't. 
 
I've decided to leave everything logged off so that I have to take the extra step of signing in every time I want to look at social media. I'm also taking steps to address all of that anxiety and I'm already feeling a bit better. I'm hoping to be more conscious of my usage, and have it go down over time. Maybe I'll try to do it again in a few weeks when I'm in a little better place.