Things Will Work Out

I'm supposed to be working on my novel/homework at the moment, but I'm too excited to get anything done, and I want to remember this, so here I am! 

I'd been begging Sammy to take a day off for.ev.er. His work has been pretty stressful, and I miss him, and there's a lot of things we needed to get done, like renew the lease, meet with his school advisor, and get our monthly temple visit in. We've been going every month, and with yesterday being the 31st, we really needed to get our March visit in. 

Side note- I seriously love the temple. I never thought I would love it this much. I never enjoyed going on youth temple trips. I never felt that peace that everyone talked about having the moment they entered the building, feeling the worries of the world melt away. Instead I was always stressed and on edge. But going now, I feel those things. I feel that instant peace and relief. I feel at home. I feel a happiness and closeness with my husband that's indescribable. And I'm so grateful for that. 

With my graduation this May, I have so many life changes coming. Number one being that I need to find a big girl job. I don't have tons of time in which to do that, because Sammy is going back to school full time. This is something that we've prayed about and known for awhile, which I'm excited for. Sammy has been such an amazing husband for working hard and providing for us so that I could finish my degree. Now, it's his turn. Being the planner that I am, I'd figured out multiple ways that Sammy could do this, and how everything else would play out, and when to do what for this and that. We were golden.

Well, except for I've been applying for lots of jobs, and not even getting interviews. I was getting turned down from my experience alone. I went to a job fair and hoped to find something, but watched as faces fell each time I mentioned that I was studying English. Not even to be a teacher, but to be a writer. I would apply for jobs, and they would want experience that I didn't get working at the bookstore, but could have gotten if I'd left the store years ago and tried to work a different campus job. I've been feeling silly for my life decisions and wishing that I'd done more to get ready to provide for us for a while. 

Well, we went to Sammy's school advising appointment to make sure that everything was on track, and to see if he needed a science class. Then we were going to the temple. He comes out ten minutes later, and tells me that hey, just kidding, he needs twenty more credits than we were expecting. We double checked, and yes he does. I was quiet for a second, my mind going over everything that I'd planned. And then I said, we'll make it work. This isn't a huge deal. Actually, this will probably work out for the better. Having to take that extra semester for Sammy means that he can spread out his major classes, and avoid overdoing it. 

We drove to the temple, and I told Sammy that this change would affect some other things we had planned, and that I was going to pray about them today to get some answers, and if he could pray about them too, that'd be great, so we could just know everything right now and be right on track. I feel so bad for this now. That was not what he needed to hear at that moment. He was so overwhelmed with this school blow, and then I'm piling on all these other thoughts for him. I'm a planner, and it gets overwhelming. But dang it, I wanted answers right that moment and if he prayed about it too, we should get them right? 

Silly me.

We got inside the temple, and I just started praying and telling Heavenly Father all of me thoughts. I told him that I really needed some help being a more supportive wife, and I'd really like to get some answers to huge life questions today, and oh yeah I'm stressed out about getting a job and supporting our family. And when I told him that, I had this instant peace come over me. We were going to be ok. Things were going to work out. I would get a job, not only that, but it would be the right one and I would know it. 

That answer, which was not the answer that I went there that day for, was the one that I needed. That peace didn't leave me. Sammy and I talked again, and I apologized for putting so much pressure on him and gave him what he needed in that moment. We went to lunch afterwards, a happy uplifted couple. 

As the day went on, I figured out some other things. I had been silly to expect to receive that huge answer about something down the road right that moment. There were other more immediate things that I needed answers too. And there are steps I need to take, and instead of asking to know about this huge thing right now, I should instead pray about each step and take those one at a time, and stop worrying about them right now. I can take this problem and tackle it one by one. I told Sammy this and he was pretty impressed, because that's just not how I operate. 

One thing I love to do is plan school schedules. Last night I got to help Sammy plan his new school schedule, and figure out that he can actually get a minor in a subject he loves, AND has extra room to take some fun classes as well. He's so excited and happy, and so am I. I went to bed last night feeling so happy and at peace. 

Then this morning, I saw that I'd missed a call. Usually I just ignore that, but today I googled where the call had come from. It was from a job that I'd applied to awhile ago. I immediately called the number back, a little worried since no voicemail was left, and figured, what the heck. And then ladies and gentlemen, I set up my first big girl job interview, for a job that I'm REALLY excited about. I jumped around my apartment and ran around and called Sammy and my parents out of breathe because I was so happy.

Now, I'm perfectly aware that there is a big chance I won't get this job. This is just a first step. But after my day yesterday, then finally getting this first phone call, it was like Heavenly Father tapping me on the shoulder and being like, Hey, remember what I told you yesterday. Yeah, I meant that. Here's just a little reminder. Things are going to work out. We've got this.