An Unexpected Hosptial Stay

When Aaron was born, I prayed that I would be able to have and recognize promptings in order to best take care of him. I'd heard all these stories about a 'mom gut' and was worried that I wouldn't have one, especially since I'm such an anxious person. I'm about as good at making decisions as Chidi is on the Good Place when I'm feeling anxious and I was so worried that when it came to Aaron I wouldn't be able to make decisions and know what was best for him. 

One Tuesday after I was starting to feel like I was a little more on my feet with this mom thing, I decided that I really wanted to work on getting Aaron sleeping well in his bed. During the day the only time he would sleep was if he was being held and I can only hold him for so long. That morning when leaving for work Sammy remarked that Aaron sounded congested and suggested I call the doctor about that. He'd been sounding a little mucus-y for a week at that point though, and when I considered calling I really felt that I didn't need to. 

That day was rough. Aaron would only sleep for 10-30 minutes at a time and was really hard to get back to sleep. I went on with my morning trying to get things done in those stretches but really wasn't able to. Aaron and I spent a lot of time in the rocking chair with me singing to him to try and calm him down. He cried from 2:00-3:00 non stop at which point I had a full on meltdown. I left him in his room for a little bit needing to get away from all the screaming. I felt like such a failure. I couldn't get through one day by myself, how was I supposed to take care of him when he was sick or if he was teething? After walking away I went back in and was able to calm him down and get him to sleep. Sammy called me and gave me a wonderful pep talk, and to my surprise Aaron slept more than thirty minutes. I took that time to do things for me instead of cleaning up the house, and Sammy promised when he got home I could go to the gym and he'd take Aaron for the rest of the night. 

Aaron slept for a full 2 1/2 hours before sort of stirring awake. I tried feeding him but he only ate an ounce before going back into a deep sleep. I kept trying to wake him up to finish his bottle but he wouldn't wake. I went through the day in my head then and realized that he'd eaten half of what he normally eats. The thought came to me very strongly that I needed to call the doctor right then. Something was wrong, when he did cry it wasn't his normal one. I called and spoke with a nurse who told me that with his symptoms they wanted me to take him to a children's hospital ER that night. Sammy was due to be home any minute so I quickly started packing up a bag for Aaron with things he'd need for a few hours in the ER. I figured that we'd be there for a few hours, they'd suck a bunch of mucus out of his nose, and we'd be home shortly. 

Sammy got home and I filled him in on what what happening and told him to bring some sweatpants just incase we had to stay awhile. I brought a bed shirt with me and we brought our toothbrushes before heading to the hospital. It was a tense forty minute drive there and I did my best to try and stay calm. When we finally got to the ER we were shocked at how full it was. There were no seats available and so many people coughing and sneezing. I didn't want to expose Aaron to all of that, but I knew something was wrong with him. 

We waited in the ER for two hours before being brought back for a room, and that was only because we were moved forward in the line because of how little Aaron is. I started to panic because I only had enough formula for two more feeds since we'd been there so long already. Aaron was finally seen by a doctor who had his nose suctioned. They got out a ton of mucus, more than I'd ever been able to get with my nose frida and bulb. After being suctioned once Aaron was still showing signs of labored breathing so they performed a deep suction on him. He really didn't like that. 

After that second suction we figured that we were good to head home. Aaron sounded fine and he ate a full bottle, something he hadn't done all day. Sammy and I discussed who would be the safer driver to get us home, him being sleepy or me with my bruised tailbone and being on drugs that made me drowsy at times. The doctor came in to check him and showed us that he was having labored breathing, something we hadn't noticed at all. They performed another suction and wanted to wait it out to see if his breathing improved. It was 11pm at that point. They checked him again and Aaron was still working hard so the doctor said he was going to admit him overnight and have him put on oxygen. We had not been expecting that, but I was relieved that we wouldn't have to make that drive with how exhausted we both were. 

The nurses put in the cannula for the oxygen which Aaron HATED. He screamed bloody murder for two full hours in that ER exam room. Sammy and I did everything we could think of but he would just not calm down. To make matters worse he was connected to machines that would beep incessantly every time his heart rate went about 205 which it did quite a bit while he was screaming. I do not want to ever relive those two hours. Finally a team ams from upstairs to escort us to his new room. I had to walk side by side with a nurse who wheeled his oxygen tank so that it didn't tug on his face at all. 

We got upstairs and met with Aaron's doctors and nurses. They looked him over quickly and told us that they were treating this as bronchiolitis. All of his symptoms didn't fit exactly but that was their best guess at that point. He was still screaming hysterically at that point and Sammy and I had no idea what to do. A different doctor came in to examine him and I just collapsed on the couch and asked her what to do. We couldn't get him to calm down. She and the nurse started a series of pats and were able to get him to calm down. That doctor did an exam of his mouth and told me that the roof of his mouth was arched higher than normal, something that might suggest he had a cleft palate farther down. She asked if he coughs or chokes when eating, and if he dribbles milk down his face, things that he does. With the scar on his lip that looks like a healed cleft lip, she wanted that evaluated. 

Sammy and I were able to get some sleep on the pull out couch thanks to our wonderful nurse who calmed Aaron down enough to go to sleep. In the morning we had more doctors and nurses coming to evaluate him. His breathing had improved and he was taken off of oxygen, and after another suction they were confident that all of the mucus was out. With the mention of the high arch, along with the fact that Aaron chokes and coughs at least once with every feeding, feeding specialists were brought in to watch Aaron eat. From that evaluation we learned

We were holding the bottle wrong. The way our pediatrician told us was wrong and the way the hospital nurses told us when he was first born was right

We were overfeeding him by a lot which is why he was spitting up so much

Brushing the inside of nipples with a bottle brush stretches out the hole at the top, increasing how fast the milk goes out. Because of that whenever Aaron paused while sucking, he still had milk going down his throat pretty quickly 

Aaron makes a high pitched squeaking noise when he breathes in that could be a sign of an abnormality in his throat

Dr. Brown's bottles are their favorites to use because they 

We were given a Dr. Brown's bottle to feed him with and shown how to hold him and feed him to keep the nipple only half full to try and stop some of the coughing and choking and overfeeding. They said they would get back to us later in the day to see how feeding went with those changes. 

That afternoon Sammy and I expected that we'd be going home soon. Aaron was still breathing well, had no more mucus, was eating, and we'd implemented the suggested changes. Because of that we were very surprised when our doctor came in to tell us that we'd be staying another night so that Aaron could have a swallow study done the next day. After talking things over with the feeding specialists they wanted to be sure that Aaron wasn't aspirating while he was eating. 

Sammy and I wanted to leave so badly at that point but I felt very strongly that we needed to stay the extra night. The doctors explained the possible ways we could do the test and I felt again that we needed to a scope even though it would be more uncomfortable for Aaron. 

Sammy went home with my mom and came back with all the things we'd left at home and we settled in for another night. In the middle of the night a nurse informed me that we couldn't feed Aaron for six hours before his test. I immediately started panicking, remembering those few hours of cries in the ER. I didn't want to have to go through that for six hours. It's so hard to comfort Aaron when he's hungry and Sammy had to go back to work, I'd be all alone. I had no idea how I was going to get through that. 

That night Aaron slept for seven hours in a row. Of course, the one time that I wanted to stuff him with food he wanted to try out sleeping through the night. I eventually woke him up to eat and he put himself right back to sleep afterwards, things I'd been trying to teach him at home but he was only now doing in the hospital. I was so proud of him, but so stressed about the not eating. 

In the morning when the nurses changed I asked our nurse to double check on the six hours. The feeding specialists had only said three, why had the time changed in the middle of the night? I then called my mom to find out what time she was coming and learned that she would be there, but not when they'd be doing the feeding study. I hung up and started sobbing. For the study I was going to have to hold Aaron and somehow get him to calm down enough for him to eat a bottle while they shoved a camera down his nose and into his throat. I can't get Aaron to calm down most normal days, how was I supposed to do this now? I was so so scared and didn't want to be alone for that. 

Immediately the thought came into my head to call a friend from church and see if she could come stay with me during the test. I texted her, thinking that she was going to be out of town but it turned out she was here. Through tears I explained what was happening and she said that she'd be honored to be there with me and was so touched that I'd thought to call her. As it turned out she came home early the day before and wasn't even supposed to be here that day. 

In the middle of that phone call the nurse came in and let me know that I only had to stop feeding Aaron three hours before the test, not six. So much relief washed over me. Everything was going to be okay and I was going to get through this. 

Right before the test I started panicking and felt like I couldn't breathe. I watched so many doctors filing in with machines and setting up the room. I did my best to stay calm but I was so scared and so glad that I wasn't alone at that time. Finally it was time, but there was confusion for a moment because there was another Aaron Gomez in the hospital who'd had the exact same test done that day. What are the odds?

 One doctor held Aaron's head still while another was crouched on the floor in front of me to try and keep Aaron and I calm. Then there was another doctor observing, and the specialist with the scope. I was handed a bottle of blue milk to feed him with and it was go time. They stuck the scope down Aaron's nose and he started screaming and screaming. I did my best to comfort him but started to cry myself. I did my best to stop because I needed to stay calm for him and calm him down. That doctor on the ground was such a help, patting Aaron and reassuring me. 

Once the scope was in place I had to try and get Aaron to take a bottle. If he wouldn't take the bottle then the scope would be a failure and we'd have to try this again, so, ya know, no pressure. He kept spitting the nipple out of his mouth and screaming when it was in his mouth instead of swallowing. I told him that he got to drink blue milk like Luke Skywalker but he wasn't that impressed. After multiple tries Aaron finally started sucking. I can't tell you how proud of him I was in that moment as he started sucking and doing what the doctors needed him to do. 

A few minutes into the feed the doctors changed the size of nipple he was using on the bottle to one for preemies then continues the study. They were all talking with each other and I could tell that they were seeing something odd, but had no idea what they were saying. They finished the study and then someone noticed that the video hadn't recorded at all. My heart sunk so far but they reassured me that they'd all seen what they needed to and after consulting they'd be back with the results. 

Aaron cried for a few minutes after the scope but then immediately started cooing and chattering. A nurse came in to take his vitals and he was acting like his normal self with her. He is one tough kiddo who really likes to flirt with people wearing masks. (He never once seemed scared of anyone with a mask and would chat with them and let them do what they needed to do. Meanwhile I had to do crazy rocking bouncing shushing maneuvers for him to calm when I held him.) 

He was a mess after the test with blue dye dribbled all over his face along with the remains of his cannula stickers.

It turns out that Aaron was aspirating while feeding with a normal sized nipple. When he used the preemie size though he came close but wouldn't. He also has an omega shaped epiglottis, and everything in his throat and nose are extremely swollen thanks to acid reflux. To help him we have to feed him with a preemie size nipple and get another test done in a month. 

After the study I felt so exhausted. I'd been so worked up for it and it was finally over. In that state, a nurse came in and told me I couldn't feed Aaron because they wanted to the test again. I almost lost it at that point. I just wanted to go home, I didn't want to hold him and do that test again. My mom and sister were there with me. Soon the nurse came back and told me that he could eat and they weren't doing the test again.

At that point I was just waiting for the doctors to tell me what was next. So I was pretty surprised when my nurse came by with my discharge paperwork saying we were going home. At that point we just wanted out of there though and we quickly packed up our things. Sammy got off work right then and got there just in time to help.

Our hospital stay was stressful and hard. But it was such a blessing. I truly believe that if I'd taken Aaron to the doctor earlier in the day, they would have just addressed the mucus and that would have been it. Because we were in the hospital though Aaron had one doctor who noticed a high arch who called in the feeding specialists, who had tests done, and we learned about the aspiration. I'm so thankful that we got to take our boy home and that he's doing so much better now.