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Cuddles

When we were in the hospital, I joked with my mom and sister that when I pictured motherhood, I pictured it going a lot differently. I thought that I'd spend the day watching Harry Potter with Aaron, then I'd write while he took a nap, then I'd have the time and energy to make a delicious, nutritious meal every night while he sat in his bouncer and watched me. 

Haha. I was so naive. 

The day after the hospital, Aaron was extremely cuddly with me. He did not want me to put him down or walk out of eye sight. One of the saddest moments of the day was when I put him in his rock and play and walked to grab something. I watched him turn his head and his eyes follow me. As soon as I was out of eyesight, he started screaming. I

 completely changed my plans for the day at that moment. I didn't worry about cleaning up or making dinner.  We went for a walk and I left the shade down so he could see me. 
I turned on Harry Potter and snuggled with my boy in his matching onesie. 
When he woke up I let him play on my legs where he cooed and wiggled.
A package we'd ordered for him before all the craziness arrived that day and Sammy and I both melted inside as we watched him cuddle with his panda. 
I'm so glad that I was able to have a day where all I did was hold my baby. We both needed it. I can't even describe how good it felt to see that my baby was comforted by my presence, and that he watches when I walk across the room, and sometimes he just needs to be held by me. It's been an interesting time bonding with him and a lot of the time I feel like he's indifferent towards me, but that day I was all that he wanted. 




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