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Scared- and it's not weather related.

Two months after Sammy and I started dating, one of his good friends and his girlfriend of a year broke up. Out of the blue (to me.) It really shook me up, we'd just hung out with them days before and they'd seemed so happy, him picking her up and laughing and all that nice stuff. I thought they were so cute and hoped that we would be like them. And then the next day they were over. Just like that. That kept happening over and over for the next few months, our friends kept breaking up and they'd seemed fine days before. Every time that happened I'd tell Sammy that I was a little scared. He'd tell me hey, that's not us. We're not breaking up. We're in charge of our own relationship.

Now, everywhere I look people are getting divorced. And it's really shaking me up again. Now, I don't know these people very well, they aren't my best friends. I'm not pretending to have the slightest idea of what's going on in their lives behind the screens. But I've looked up to these people, I've laughed with them, worked and gone to school with them, and read/seen all the intimate details of their lives that they've shared in blogs. And for whatever combination of life events and reasons, there's a divorce now involved. Now coming to a huge crossroads in my life, it scares the crap out of me.

What really gets me are the similarities. They'll write about the cute thing their husband did for them, or how they felt in a certain situation, or even those pictures filled with love and happiness that can't be faked and I sit here and think yeah! That's how Sammy makes me feel! That's how we look together! And then seeing that relationship now coming to an end, it's scary to me. I wonder, did they have those same feeling of reassurance I've felt? Did they get that answer of yes, yes, yes? Did they have those tiny fears lingering before it all began? And if they did, then what happened? And how can I prevent it?    Can it be prevented? Or does life just sometimes throw such curveballs that forever things break too.

Now I'mma go talk to Sammy and he'll probable say something really smartical and make me feel better because that's what he does. : )

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