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Here come the feelings!

Holy cow. I think I've experienced almost every feeling known to man in the last two days. Fear excitement anxiety doubt passion fear confusion happiness, and love love love. I've felt so much love from all my family and friends and my blog friends, so thank you so much! All of Sammy's neighbors came over yesterday to welcome me to the family and that was an awesome experience. I felt so so much love and excitement.

Now lets talk bout them other emotions. I thought I was crazy. Moments after Sammy proposed to me, I felt filled with fear. Why? Because I didn't feel that AHHH sun shining down from the sky moment of perfection and rainbows that everyone talks about having, or the reaction you always see on YouTube and tv. I thought something was wrong with me, that this wasn't right, and I was freaking out. The last thing I wanted to do was tell someone what I was feeling, because I didn't want to hear the, are you sure your doing the right thing, something must be wrong, and other responses. I've been hearing those since day one of dating Sammy, I didn't want to hear them now that we're engaged. 

So. I freaked out. I felt sick. My heart went haywire. And when people looked at me with doubt when I couldn't name off our wedding date yet, I just smiled and filed those feelings away. 

Finally I couldNt take it anymore. So I went to google. And guess what. THIS IS COMPLETELY NORMAL. My life is abut to crazily change. I no longer have a boyfriend. I have a fiancé. I have to plan a wedding. I'm going out on my own, with another person. Who is a boy! A stinky boy, just kidding. ;) who just got a new job. And we're in school! And we have to leave our mommies! And be grown up grown ups. And it's scary, and if I wasn't scared, then I probably wouldn't be normal. 

So I'm going to go on being honest about what I'm feeling, and let this new reality sink in. If you experienced this, please share with me. Advice is welcome :) 

Comments

  1. Amanda SchroederAugust 26, 2013 at 2:02 PM

    You are so cute. I felt a titch a fear but not much. I think a lot of fear might just be a red flag...even though there are a lot of changes. Haha. Just pray your heart out about it. You'll get your answer if you haven't already.

    ReplyDelete

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