Incase you didn't know, it's 2017. And it's seriously flying by. I've been gone for a bit because, well, I've been in a funk. I always get anxious and kind of sad around the holidays. I think part of it is seasonal affective disorder. The other part is that I feel so much pressure around the holidays to just be happy all the time, while serving people, and figuring out gifts, and just being cheerful. Add to that feelings of guilt that I'll never be able to express to my loved ones what they mean to me and feelings of frustration at a new girlfriend being added to my in laws, and hi! My name is Kylee.
Actual photo of me.
Despite all of this, I had a fantastic Christmas Day. It started off early with church with my family, and we went home for an awesome breakfast and a day of relaxing together with lots of games. As an adult, I love spending Christmas with my parents and it means so much more than it did before. I love that time together spent celebrating the Savior.
I made Sammy pose for a family picture with Persephone, and it came out perfectly because she posed as well.
New Year's Eve we spent with friends and ended up at Village Inn to get pancakes. Instead of a kiss at midnight, we wished Bob the manager a happy new year at 12:00 on the dot. I was very bummed to learn that location has mice later because I feel like we really share something with Bob now.
On New Year's Day I felt like I'd been run over by a truck. I will never again eat pancakes at midnight. I was given the calling of Relief Society Secretary that morning, and oh boy. That has been shaking up my year so far. It's been rough for me, and every time I think about it I want to curl into a ball and hide.
Anyways, with the New Year and this New Calling and all the feelings of sadness during the holidays, I made some goals for the new year. I have a few big goals that I've broken down into little goals. Sammy and I have also made goals as a couple that we have to be reminded of a lot, because we've already forgotten them.
My big goals are: To be more Christlike
To be healthier physically and mentally
To finish and submit another book this year, and start a new draft
To work on Emergency Preparedness
When it comes to breaking down those goals, I made monthly, weekly, and daily goals. And, I've failed at the majority of them. But that's alright, at least, that's what I tell myself. I have made some big changes so far though. I've been working out sporadically, and practicing yoga. We've been stocking up on a few things every month for our food storage, and I've been eating way more fruits and vegetables, along with tinier portions. Every day I make a goal to be a little more patient with one patron than I normally would be in efforts to be more Christlike.
To be honest, it's been a rough two months. The last six have been rough, and it's hard to tell which of those things are in my control, and which are out. But I want to get back to blogging so that I can look for the happy moments more and remember them, because they are happening. I just need to stop focusing on the clouds and look at the sun. So come on 2017. Let's do this.
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