Crazy Socks & Writer's Block

On the third day of our vacation, we didn't have any big events planned, but I'd seen a flyer that the resort was giving a kayak tour. So Sammy and I got up and ready to go on the kayak tour. When we went to sign up, one of the staff members started talking with Sammy in Spanish and was getting very excited because he was the same age as us. He wanted Sammy and I to come party with him that night at club Coco Bongo, and even went to get us tickets. He was pretty disappointed when we told him we weren't interested. There was a craft station there and while we waited, Sammy and I both painted a statue that looked like Pikachu.  To my dismay we all had separate kayaks, and I struggled to get mine into the water. I was the last one from our group out, and didn't get into the water correctly, so I was stuck sideways in the waves of the ocean, just being thrown back and forth on the shore. Thankfully someone came out and pushed me into the water so I was able to join eve...

It's always so weird sleeping in hotels because Sammy and I have a queen size bed, and there are always kings. I feel like in a king sized bed, Sammy's not even there. I can't just move my leg and touch his foot, I have to really go for it. Anyways. On day two of our vacation we got up a little early because it was time to swim with dolphins! I woke up having a panic attack a few times during the night because I was so nervous. My stomach was a bit upset from the food, my ear still hadn't popped, and I've never swam with a dolphin so there's that.  We woke up to a little bird on our balcony who almost came through the door.  Then, on our way to breakfast, we heard this horrible noise and looked up into the tree to see some coati's right before they threw a coconut down onto the sidewalk, almost hitting us. They threw it so that they could crack it and get the milk out.  It was so awesome to just throw on a swimsuit, a coverup, and some flip-flops ...

Almost a year ago, Sammy had planned at trip to visit California the week after I graduated college. That trip was soon cancelled when I got a job and had to start the day we were going to leave. That summer when we finally went to our apartment pool, despite living here two years, it was glorious. That was when the wheels got turning and we decided that we were going to go on a beach trip! And not to California because the water is too cold.  Originally we had plans to go to Florida, but there were a lot of problems with that. The plane tickets were really expensive, we're still to young to rent rental cars without paying a whole lot extra, and Sammy has a lot of family there. While it's great to see family, we wanted a vacation just the two of us. Sammy's coworker suggested we check out Apple Vacations and that was the best thing we could have done. An all expense included trip to Mexico was cheaper than our plane tickets would have been to Florida.  After almost...

You know my fish, Persephone? Whom I love dearly? Who is my favorite fish that I've ever had, which is good because she's by far had the coolest name? Yeah, it's been a rough few weeks with her. It all started one lovely Sunday where I was already beyond stressed. Sammy had had a cold for a week, and it showed no signs of getting better. Here's the thing about when Sammy has a cold- instead of being a nice loving caring person, I get inexplicably annoyed. I think part of it is that it's a reminder that he's mortal and so I start panicking that he's going to cough so hard he'll never catch his breath and die, and the other part is that it gets annoying to not be able to have a conversation because he can't stop coughing after every word. Anyways, he pointed out to me that Persephone was acting weird. I watched her, and she was doing what all my other fish have done right before they died. So I put on my pants and told Sammy we were breaking the s...

Incase you didn't know, it's 2017. And it's seriously flying by. I've been gone for a bit because, well, I've been in a funk. I always get anxious and kind of sad around the holidays. I think part of it is seasonal affective disorder. The other part is that I feel so much pressure around the holidays to just be happy all the time, while serving people, and figuring out gifts, and just being cheerful. Add to that feelings of guilt that I'll never be able to express to my loved ones what they mean to me and feelings of frustration at a new girlfriend being added to my in laws, and hi! My name is Kylee.  Actual photo of me.  Despite all of this, I had a fantastic Christmas Day. It started off early with church with my family, and we went home for an awesome breakfast and a day of relaxing together with lots of games. As an adult, I love spending Christmas with my parents and it means so much more than it did before. I love that time together spent celebrat...

I've almost been off my anti depressants three months now, and boy has it been a journey of ups and downs. I recently finished a book though that I want to recommend to ANYONE who has anxiety.  The Worry Trick  by David A. Carbonell I've started a LOT of books about anxiety. And I've never finished any of them. They all either lost my attention, or caused me more stress and anxiety by giving lots and lots of case studies about people and the situations in their lives that caused them anxiety. I understand that many of these are to show people who might not have realized they have anxiety yet the situations in their lives where it's presenting itself, but they just gave me more things to stress about. I'd just started my first grown up job, and I hadn't even thought to worry about a lot of those things, but now that they mentioned it, I was worried about it. This book has some examples, but not too many. The chapters are short and easy to follow, and...

Almost two months ago, Sammy was making breakfast and we were listening to Conference talks that he'd missed. I saw him get this strange look on his face while he was listening, and then he became very thoughtful. I wrote it off as him having some sort of personal revelation, and went on with my morning.  Sammy sat down on the couch next to me though, and told me he had something to ask me. My heart instantly started racing, having no idea what he wanted to talk about. Had I done something wrong? He then asked me if I was happy at church, working in the nursery. He said he'd noticed over the past six months that I was dreading going to church more and more, and just seemed blah. When he heard that talk, that thought kept popping into his mind.  I'm pretty sure that I started crying because he was so right, and I hadn't even noticed it. I hadn't been happy in nursery. Don't get me wrong, I loved the kids and the people I worked with, but I just wasn'...