How I Thought I'd Do Things

Someone was asking me a question about how I planned to do something in the future with raising Aaron and I said, "I think I'll do it this way, but then again nothing has gone the way I thought it would so I'll just figure out what works then." 

It's funny all the things that have gone differently that I thought they would. I thought that I would breastfeed for at least six months, if not his first year of life. Ha. We made it a day and I pumped for a month before switching to solely formula. 

I thought that he'd sleep in our room for at least four months, if not the six that doctors recommend. He moved into his own room at three months and I was so sad about it, but we all started sleeping so much better afterwards. 

I thought that I'd never do the cry it out method. But that's what finally got him sleeping in his own crib. 

I thought we'd never let him sleep in his rock and play at night because it's not technically 'safe.' Yeah, he was in there his first week. 

I thought I'd dress him up in cute outfits every day. He mostly just stays in his pajamas because it's so much easier and every time I do dress him up, he has a massive blowout. 

I thought I'd do the baby led weaning method when it came to starting solids and that Aaron would just have part of our dinner every night and I'd never buy baby food from the store. So far that's all he's eaten.

I thought I'd never be one of those moms who hated being away from her baby for a few hours. I get anxious when I'm away from him for more than a few hours.   

I thought I'd be looking forward to going back to work. I do not want to go back at all right now.

I thought that I'd be motivated to go for walks and write everyday and do all of the things. I am struggling with that motivation. 

I thought that I'd love him, but it wouldn't be that intense. My love for him is so much more intense than I ever thought it could be.

Motherhood has been one big lesson in the fact that I really have no control over anything, and it's just going to keep on going on. But I'm so glad that I get to learn it with my little family.