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Gibb's Gut

Ever watched NCIS? If you haven't, you should. Anyways. Gibbs, the main character who is freaking amazing and immediately after the Boston bombings Sammy and I both said how we wished Gibbs was real because he would take care of this. I'm very grateful that the FBI doesn't operate and act like they're portrayed in NCIS, and I'm very grateful for the work they and every law enforcement and citizen has done this week. American pride.

Back to Gibbs. Gibbs always follows his gut. If something doesn't feel right to Gibbs, then it isn't right and they need to keep looking. As the years go by, every other character begins to learn how to listen and follow to their guts as well, leading to justice. I've envied their guts and put more trust in what I initially feel in situations. Then I took intro to psych and was schooled in just how off gut instincts can be.

Friday, we had a speaker in our class. Her name's Jeanne Assam. Her website is here. I was about two minutes late, so I had no idea who she was or what her topic was. When I came in, she was talking about how she wanted to find God. How she felt she hadn't heard from him in awhile and she wanted to. She's a police officer and was working security for a huge church called New Life at the time and the pastor suggested she fast for three days. She decided to try it. On Saturday night she still hadn't heard anything, so she asked the pastor what she should do. He said she should stay home Sunday and have the day to herself.

Assam told us how Sunday morning she saw a tiny headline saying there had been a shooting at a youth group. In that moment, she knew in her gut that the gunman was headed to her church, and she had to stop him. Assam described the service to us, how she felt such an odd energy in the building that day. Church ended and people began to leave. The other cops and some security members went home, but Assam decided to stay. It was then that the same gunman started to shoot in the parking lot.

Assam told us her first thought was she couldn't believe it. She couldn't believe that her gut feeling was right. It'd been such an odd one, the church's were so far apart, everything had seemed fine, she wasn't even going to go in that day. But she'd just known what was going to happen and she was there. Assam told us how she ran towards the gunman while the rest of the armed security officers froze. She was the only one in that hallway with him. She said she'd never felt God's presence with her so strong as in that moment, and as she took a step in front of the gunman she felt a presence protecting her. She did what she had to do, and took out the gunman, saving hundreds.

After this week, it was an eerie story to hear. The rest of the class period was spent talking about how the real trauma for Assam came from the lies in the media. After hearing her words, I've given a lot of thought to what I've been hearing in the news this week, what is and isn't true. But what's truly stuck with me is how Assam kept mentioning that gut feeling. She just knew. A few students started discussing times where they'd had gut feelings, and how those had saved them and so on and they wondered where they came from.

I remembered a lesson I had in church a few years ago about the Spirit. How it can be with all of us. Someone asked how people who aren't really used to feeling the Spirit can recognize it. My leader said that most people think of it as a gut feeling, their intuition. That thought just fascinates me, and I believe it. There are those times when we just feel something's wrong, that we shouldn't go somewhere or do something, and then we find out that something bad would have happened. Or in Assam's case, she just knew he was coming and so she was there, the only armed person with training and prepared to deal with an active shooter. Assam said she wouldn't have been able to do what she did if she hadn't felt that presence with her. And I believe her. I believe that those gut feelings are sometimes the Spirit warning us of things to come. I know God is watching out for us, that he loves us, and he never leaves us alone.

One other neat thing about the talk was that Assam told us what happened afterwards. She's had a lot of crap after the event, especially from church communities. Someone asked her if she still believed in God after all of this. She said that what she felt that day was so real and so strong that there's no way she can ever deny that there's a God, and that he knows what he's doing.

Hearing Jeanne Assam speak really inspired me and caused reflection on my part. Hearing about her faith and experiences even though completely different than mine, really strenghtened and uplifted me. I love that about this world. How we all can help each other out, how our differences are what bring us together.

And I love how I was able to tie the title of this post to NCIS.

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