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Tuesday

I have long said that Tuesdays are the worst days of the week. Mondays are hard because you have to get yourself back into that week grind. But Tuesdays you're tired from Monday and still have to keep on going. That idea only perpetuated itself when I got a job that required me to work later on Tuesday nights. Aaron has caught onto the idea because every single Tuesday with him has been so hard. 

He usually behaves on Mondays which is such a blessing to me since I'm nervous getting back into the week. His good behavior on Monday's had lulled me into a false sense of security like maybe I can do this mom thing on my own. But every single Tuesday has been hard. On one particular Tuesday after his hospital stay Aaron just kept crying and crying and crying. I was full on sobbing by 10:00am because I couldn't get him to stop, and I hadn't slept well the night before. I was too tired to keep up with the crying and I had tried everything to fix it. 

That day was one of the hardest days of motherhood I've had. I ended up sobbing multiple times throughout the day, wasted money on a doctor's visit with someone who didn't know anything about Aaron, and relationships were changed. It was awful, and I just kept feeling like I'm never going to get a handle on this whole motherhood thing. 

When Sammy got home that night it was such a relief and he did his best to comfort me after a hard day. I was getting ready for bed that night and Sammy was eating a cookie. I thought to myself that I'd love a cookie too and it was a shame that we didn't have any chocolate chip. A few minutes later there was a knock at the door. A man from church that I've never spoken to was there with homemade chocolate chip cookies for us. Sammy doesn't eat those so they were really for me. As soon as the man left I started crying all over again, this time with gratitude. I know that was Heavenly Father giving me a tender mercy after a hard day. It was a little reminder that I'm not alone and He knows what's going on and is sending people to help me because I truly cannot do this on my own. 

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