Awesome Resources

This last year has been one of a lot of growth and change. I'm still figuring out who I am, but with all these changes, some things have really helped. 

First off, the book Good Moms Have Scary Thoughts. 

It was short, sweet, had lots of pictures, and little activities to help think through sticky situations. 

This book blew me away and made me feel like someone looked straight into my brain and all the scary thoughts that had popped up in those first few months. It was SO reassuring to see it there on the paper from someone I didn't know, and to have things I could do to help. I can't recommend this book enough, it is amazing. It really helped to show Sammy this book as well so he knew that I wasn't some oddity. He is a visual learner and it really helps him to read things instead of hearing them from me. Give this book to every new mom you know! 

First, We Make the Beast Beautiful is SO good. 

I've read a lot of books about anxiety, and this one had some new studies and ways to look at it and think about it. I have some new strategies and just really loved this book. It was helpful to hear the author's life story because she's had some pretty big meltdowns in her life and it's nice to see that she's made it through them. 

PODCASTS 

Mormon Marriages Podcast

I love this podcast so much! And even if you're not Mormon, I think it's still so relatable. There was an interview with a psychologist who talked about postpartum depression and I learned SO much. I learned that your neuropathways change during pregnancy, and they don't go back afterwards. So you are literally a different person. And instead of mourning that loss, you can look at it as an opportunity to learn about your new self and discover that self. 

They had an episode on creating boundaries that really helped in our lives, not just for me, but making boundaries with other people that really needed to be  made. 

There was an interview with a couple who went from having all the money in the world, to going back to grad school during the great depression and how navigating that went. I found that episode so helpful because finances definitely change after a baby, especially if one of you quits your job. 

I found Kristin B. Hodson through their podcast and her instagram account has been so amazing. I've shared about her and been able to have so many awesome discussions with friends because of her page. 

I've also learned that 69% of conflict in a marriage is unsolvable conflict. Things like the way your partner blows their nose, or folds their laundry, or what time they like to get up. No matter who you are in a relationship with, there will still be 69% of that conflict. So leaving your partner does not mean everything will get easier, or that you chose the wrong person, or whatever. There are always going to be things to disagree about. It's about how you choose to deal with that. 

Better Than Happy

There are too many good episodes on this podcast to count. The biggest thing I've gotten from this though is that I am responsible for my feelings. I know there's the quote by Elenor Roosevelt out there about how nobody can make you feel something, but this is something I'm really working on this year. I am responsible for me and my happiness. It's almost freeing. 

After realizing this, I decided that I didn't have to wait for others to do things. If I wanted to start a new Netflix show that Sammy mentioned he wanted to watch, I'll ask him if he wants to watch it now, if he says no, then I watch it by myself. If I want to go for a walk and no one else wants to go, I can go by myself. And on and on and on. 

Her sister's podcast Couples Coaching with Natalie Clay has also been amazing. It's really just highlighted the idea that I am in charge of my feelings and how empowering that can be. 

I've also been loving some instagram accounts. kids.eat.in.color has helped me feel a little more prepared for feeding Aaron. 

Shan Tripp has videos on helping choking babies and toddlers, along with CPR, fevers, and other things. 

I have to be very picky with who I follow on Instagram. Once I followed a minimalist account for a day and felt like I needed to get rid of everything and only have three outfits. AHH. Just because that's what works for someone else, doesn't mean that's how I have to live my life. The biggest thing I'm learning this year is that. Just because someone else does it one way, doesn't mean my way is wrong. 

Anyways, those are just a few of the many resources that have been helping me this year, along with therapy, awesome friends and family, and just the healing power of time passing.