A book entitled The Cinderella Complex: Women's Hidden Fear of Independence showed up in our donation bin the other day. It's clearly from the eighties. Seeing that book has had me thinking a lot though about feminism.
First off, I would like to explain what being a feminist means to me. It means that a woman is equal to a man. It does not however mean that a woman is the same as a man. That's just not possible thanks to biology. It also means that as a woman, no one should ever tell me what I can and cannot do based on my gender. It's the idea that a woman has the choice to do what she wants. If she wants to be a stay at home mom, that's great! I do not see that as losing the battle of feminism or anything like that. A woman should be able to choose and do what makes her happy and not be judged for that. I also believe that only woman should make decisions on women's issues. If you don't have ovaries and everything else, shut up.
Something that would have been a relationship deal breaker for me is not being a feminist. Thankfully, Sammy is one. Something that Sammy loves about me is that I'm a feminist as well.
Whenever I get upset about women's issues, Sammy always tells me how much he loves that about me. I'm so grateful to have a husband who respects me and genuinely sees me as his equal, along with all women.
We went and saw Suicide Squad awhile ago. The movie was horrible for MANY reasons. We saw the movie very late at night, and in the car I remarked how I was upset because all the women in the movie were degraded. Sammy said that he hadn't seen that. However, the next morning, without me saying why I had, he told me that I was right, and pointed out every single thing that I had been peeved about in that respect. I was so proud of him in that moment.
I'm definitely not perfect, nowhere near it. We were watching the Olympics a few weeks ago with Sammy's family, and the gymnasts came on for a moment. We were all commenting on how pretty their makeup was, their leotards, and so on. Then the men's 10,000 meter race came on. The talk turned completely different. So, I started objectifying the men just like we had been doing the women. Everyone was confused for a second, but then Sammy was like that's my girl. It scared me at how unconscious it was that I was participating in that. I was seeing them at the appearance level, while not doing that for the men. I definitely have things to work on in that regard.
I used to always say that I'm so glad that I was born today, because if I'd been born in the past, I would have been killed for these ideas and my feisty attitude. The thing is though, that women are still being killed today for much less than what I've said here. And that's so wrong. I'd ask why are some people so scared of an independent woman? The answer I've come up with is look at how strong we are. Look at what we can do, and continue to keep doing.
These are a lot of random thoughts, but they've been weighing heavily on my mind. I want to make sure that my daughters are strong one day, and know that they can do anything. I know that they'll have endless support, not just from me, but from their dad as well, along with their grandparents. My dad would always smile when I went on my rants about women's issues and my thoughts, and my mom told me I could do anything. Sometimes the future looks bleak, but I know that I'll do everything I can to make it brighter, and no one can stop me.
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