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Empty

Everyone's gone. It feels so empty here. Even though my immediate family is still here, it feels so empty. I'd gotten so used to having ten extra people running around my house, then one, then three again. Now, it's just us. I could totally write a depressing post about how I feel, but that's no fun to read. I'm sick of feeling sad and lost, I've cried so much this last week. Happy time!

There was just a scary commercial on the tv. I felt like a little kid again because I couldn't find the remote fast enough to turn it so I just plugged my ears and closed my eyes for eternity until I was absolutely sure it was over. I saw a few scary movies back in my rebel days, cough cough 10th grade, and I regret that so much, they still haunt me a lot of nights. Stupid rebel me.

I've realized that I plug my ears differently than a lot of people. Is there a right or a wrong way to do that? I stick my fingers in my ears but I've seen a lot of people press on those little ear flap things on the side of their face? It hurts when I do that! So, are they the weird ones or am I the weird one? Or are none of us weird?

I absolutely love driving in the car with the windows down, feet on the dash, sun shining, singing along to the radio. Now, we just need a nearby beach where I can drive like that to. :) I want to go back to Cali sometime and just spend a week on the beach.

When my grandma was packing her stuff, I was like, you're my grandma! And she was like you wanna know how that happened? And I was like oh no but instead she said something pretty amazing. She was like there was this guy Adam and Eve and then there was Noah and she went on and told me about how her great grandparents came over here and how they moved to Idaho and how all these things had to line up just right so that I was born. She had to move to Utah, become friends with the neighbor guy, who set her up on a blind date. My mom had to go to that certain high school where she became friends with that one girl who was dating this guy who knew my dad, they set them up on multiple blind dates and bam, here I am.

Seminary graduation was tonight. I honestly never thought that I would make it to that. I failed 10th grade and had a lot of makeup work that I was just too stubborn to do. After two whole years of bugging and putting it off, I finally did the work. Actually, a shortened version because my teacher was so great this year and helped me :) My name was spelled wrong on my certificate though. It's spelled wrong on my patriarchal blessing as well, just a different way of wrong. If that makes sense. It's both funny and a little sad. Plus I had to say goodbye to friends again tonight. I've had to say so many goodbyes, it's getting depressing. I know I could see them all again if I really tried but there's just so many people, it's overwhelming. I need to go to bed, I'm not making any sense. Hahaha!

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