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Bike Riding for the Bike Ridingly Challenged

I would consider my self bike ridingly challenged. Yes, I know how to keep a bike upright. I know how to shift gears and fill the tires up with air. But I wouldn't say I'm a great biker. At least in the sense, that I don't feel comfortable riding my bike on the road. I stick to the sidewalks as much as possible. And that's kind of difficult when riding around a campus that has three schools, not just one. I didn't even bring my bike down until the second week here because I was nervous about getting around all the people walking chaotically. But having my bike here has made everything a much better experience. So, I decided to write a guide to bike riding for the bike ridingly challenged like myself. Please note I have no ideas of biker rules and such, so if I'm breaking some big code, you should let me know!

1. Hipsters wear helmets.

2. Smart people wear helmets.

3. Nowadays, people can't walk ten feet without the soundtrack of their life playing, aka iPods, so when you yell that you're behind them, they're not going to hear you. Or move. Become creative in passing people.

4. Never ever ever get stuck behind someone riding a unicycle. They are unbelievably slow and wobble all over the sidewalk. Chances of passing are 0. At least safely.

5. Red lights are your friend. They give you a chance to look at everyone, make sure there's no bikes or dogs behind you, and the second the walk signal starts blinking, you can zip right across the crosswalk and away from all the slow people not riding their bikes.

6. When it's cold outside, cover your face with a scarf. Since it's cold you'll probably be pedaling faster to get inside quickly, but with that faster pace comes what I call face wind. Face wind sucks.

7. Bring a towel with you. It stinks when you walk around with a wet bike seat imprint on your butt. Maybe that's what dark jeans are for. Hmmm.

8. Bike thieves carry cutters in duffle bags with holes on one side. They'll try to blend in by kneeling next to a bike, looking like they're unlocking it, and then cut the lock. Always be on the lookout!

9. When they say there are bike thefts, there are bike thefts. Buy a U lock.

10. The worst part of rides are those first few steps when you get off your bike and feel so inefficient.

11. Stay away from capris and shorts if you can. Bikes bite. As seen here.

12. Lock up your helmet with your bike instead of carrying it around. Much easier.

13. Bike locks make good makeshift weapons. I always carry a lock in my backpack just in case.

14. People never walk in straight lines.

15. Biking feels great and is a great way to get around. When you're doing it to get somewhere, it doesn't feel like 'exercise.' I would highly recommend it. When I'm not in school I'm definitely going to be biking places rather than drive when possible.

16. Love your bike and your bike will love you.

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